Solace From The Blooming Rose
by Sweet-Hearted SilverEars
Summary: Hawke is in love with Fenris. He has been for a while. He just doesn't know how to tell the Elf his true feelings, because he's never felt this way before. Never been in love before. Sometimes things work out exactly how, and when, they are supposed to. Pairing: Fenris/Hawke Warning: MATURE ADULT CONTENT


**Solace From The Blooming Rose**

Garrett Hawke had somehow managed to slip out of his family's Hightown estate without drawing the attention of, or questions from, his mother, brother, or his friends who were gathered there for the night to plan their group's next move.

It was late afternoon as he quickly walked the streets, but not so quickly as to be suspicious, making his way to the Red Lantern district and the Blooming Rose. He glanced around briefly, but thankfully he didn't see anyone he knew before slipping inside and shutting the door behind himself.

Hawke made his way up the stairs to the room in the far left corner of the establishment that belonged to the male Elven whore with nearly shoulder length red hair and intense blue eyes. He knocked on the open door before entering, then closed and locked it quietly.

The man he'd come to see was sitting at a small desk writing a letter, but when he looked up and saw Hawke he set the quill down instantly and came to stand before him. "Hawke. I did not think you would return. Did you have more questions for me?"

"No, Jethann," Hawke replied quietly, not quite able to meet the other male's piercing blue eyes, looking down at the floor instead. "This.. This visit is more.. personal."

"Oh! I see," Jethann said with a clearly teasing tone now in his voice and a naughty light in his eyes. "What can I do for you then, Hawke?"

"I don't want sex," Hawke replied firmly.

"Oh? Are you sure?"

"Yes. But I'll pay you the same amount of money as if I were getting sex."

"_Hmm_. How intriguing. And what do you want from me, then?"

"I want you to- to hold me while we lie down together. Just- Just let me pretend that you're.. that you're _him_, please. That's all I want."

"Oh," he said, his expression turning serious. All joking and desire was instantly gone from his voice. "I see. Unrequited yearning. Perhaps even love? I understand. You don't need to say anymore. Come here, Hawke."

Jethann held out his hand to Hawke, watching him move closer to take it with his, leading him over to his bed. They lay down together and he took Hawke into his arms, smiling gently as the dark-haired man laid his head on his right shoulder and closed his eyes.

The way Hawke's entire body shuddered, shivering as he clung to him with clear intense emotional need and desperation was heartbreaking to witness. More so as tears began to slowly fall from beneath his dark lashes.

Jethann actually found himself making soft, soothing noises and stroking the other man's silky hair tenderly with his right hand. He didn't speak, though, letting him have the fantasy he was paying for.

Most ordinary whores, let alone Elven ones, didn't seem to have much use for the Maker or Andraste, or the Old Elven Gods, but he believed. So he took the opportunity of rare quiet to send up a truly heartfelt prayer that the man Hawke clearly desperately loved would return his feelings soon. Before Hawke's kind, generous heart broke even more then it already had.

* * *

Hawke left the Blooming Rose about an hour later. He was feeling better. Or at least, more together then he had been.

Until he saw Fenris leaning back against the wall just outside and to Hawke's right.

"F-Fenris!" Hawke gasped, taking an unconscious step back, leaning against the door he'd just closed behind himself for support. "What.. What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Fenris replied with clear disapproval in his deep voice. "You did not strike me as the type to support places like this."

"I.. I came to see Jethann."

"Oh?"

"Yes. But we.. we did not have.. sex."

"Really? Then what could you possibly have been doing with him for over an hour?"

"I.. He.."

"Yes?"

"I asked him to hold me. And I.. pretended he was you."

"Me? _Why_?" Fenris hissed, clearly shocked by his answer to his question.

"Because I love you, Fenris," Hawke admitted, beginning to walk now with Fenris following. He suddenly wanted to be as far from the Blooming Rose as possible. "I am sorry if that bothers you, but I love you so much _it hurts_. I would not change it for the world. Even if you never return my feelings, I still would not change them."

"I do," Fenris growled, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Hawke.

"Do what?"

"Return your feelings. With all the hints of my attraction I have been giving you, I thought that you were not interested in me."

"You- You were flirting with me?"

"Yes, Hawke."

"Then- Then I must apologize, Fenris. I am not.. experienced when it comes to these matters. I was not uninterested, just not picking up on your signals. I.. I am _pure_, Fenris. I have never had sex. I have never wanted to. But I want to make love with you. _More then anything_. I want to be with you, _always_. To be your life mate."

"You are- a _virgin_, Hawke?" he inquired with clear surprise and shock.

"Yes. I am," Hawke replied, admitting softly, "Before you I never wanted anyone. It's _only you for_ _me_, Fenris. No one else. _I love you_."

"I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes. I feel the same about you, Hawke. You are my Amatus."

"Your what?"

"It means I love you, Hawke. It is ancient Tevene, a term of endearment."

"I see."

"Yes."

"I like it."

"I am glad for that, Hawke. Let us go home."

"Yes."

"I wish to be alone with you."

"And I with you, Fenris."

* * *

Fenris led Hawke back into his family's new Hightown estate, the fingers of his right hand tenderly entwined with those of Hawke's left. They quietly passed the closed door of the library where everyone was gathered together, heading up the double marble staircase to Hawke's bedroom.

Hawke locked the door behind them before turning to face Fenris with clearly pained need in his eyes, requesting softly, "_Fenris_.. Will you.. kiss me, please?"

"I will, yes, Hawke."

The sexy Elf drew Hawke close into his arms first, and the reality was _so much better_ then the fantasy. Hawke returned his embrace, slipping his arms around Fenris's waist tightly just as the other man kissed his upturned lips gently.

Hawke shuddered helplessly, gasping against Fenris's mouth, moaning softly when his Elf's warm tongue slid in and touched his in reaction.

"_Maker's Breath_!" Hawke panted when they finally had to draw back to breathe, staring up into those mesmerizing eyes he so loved. "_You taste wonderful_, _Fenris_!"

"As do you, Hawke," Fenris growled, his eyes burning, passion flaring between them intensely.

Hawke groaned, dizzy with the force of the sheer _want_ between them. He released Fenris reluctantly in order to stumble over to his bedside table, opening and scrabbling through the drawer's contents until he found his small and clear glass bottle of golden oil.

Hawke took the oil back to Fenris, handing it to him carefully and saying in tones of obvious longing, "_Fenris_, I- I need you inside me. _Please_."

"_Mmm_.." Fenris hummed in his low, almost purring voice. "Have you been planning for this, Amatus?"

"No. I have dreamed of this, yes. But I never truly thought I.. that _we_ ever really would.. I bought the oil on a whim; another fantasy that I thought would never come true. But I am _so glad_ that it has."

"As am I, Hawke," Fenris told him. "Take off your clothes for me, then bend over the foot of the bed. I will prepare you for our union."

"Yes, Fenris," Hawke said obediently. He removed his Mage staff from his back along with the leather harness that held it in place and carefully leaned it against the wall to the right of the headboard before beginning to remove his clothing quickly.

Once he was naked he laid down on his front on the bed with his legs draping down over the edge. Fenris set aside his weapons and stripped out of his clothes as well before stepping up behind Hawke, setting the bottle of oil down on the comforter to the right of Hawke's muscular hips.

Fenris then leaned down to whisper in Hawke's right ear, "Spread your legs for me, Amatus."

Hawke's entire body visibly quivered at the sound of his deep voice. He actually whimpered softly as he obeyed Fenris's request, spreading his legs to reveal his innocent pink hole to his beloved's burning gaze. "_Maker_, _Fenris_! _Please_!"

"_Shhh_, Hawke. Everything is fine. I promise to be gentle and patient. I'll not hurt you."

Hawke nodded, his body trembling harder as he heard Fenris opening the bottle of oil. He gasped softly when he felt one of the other man's slick fingers probing at his hole carefully, arching his spine and pushing back into the touch helplessly. "_F-Fenris_! _Ohhh_! Don't stop!"

"_Never_, _Amatus_!"

Fenris readied Hawke thoroughly with his fingers and the oil before assisting him to move further up the bed and roll over onto his back. He then joined him on the soft mattress, lifting Hawke's strong legs up onto his shoulders before positioning himself and beginning to enter the other man slowly.

Fenris paused when Hawke cried out with obvious pain, but he shook his head, his dark eyes pleading as he begged, "Don't stop! _I need you_, _Fenris_! I need to be _one with you_, _always_!"

"And I with you, Hawke."

Fenris moved again, uniting their bodies with one smooth thrust, filling Hawke completely with the evidence of his desire for the man. For _this_ man only.

"_Fen-ris_! _Ahhhh_! _Yesss_! _Fill me with your blade of flesh_!"

Fenris blinked at Hawke's words, filled with the odd desire to laugh at them. But he didn't, knowing his lover was sincere in his desire and not wishing to hurt his feelings in any way. Also because the way he said them made him even more needy and lustful for Hawke.

"_Fuck_, _Hawke_!" he groaned, leaning down to briefly kiss his lips. "What the things you say do to me! _Unghhh_. You drive me mad for you, love."

"I feel the same for you, Fenris."

Fenris shuddered, leaning down to kiss Hawke fiercely now, beginning to move inside him as his kiss was returned with clear passion and desire.

Hawke clung to Fenris tightly as the Elven man moved deep inside him, kissing him in return with everything he had as they made love together for the first time.

It didn't take long for them to achieve physical release together, which was a good thing, because Hawke was unsure how much more his heart could have taken.

Fenris retrieved a wet cloth from Hawke's washbasin and gently cleaned Hawke and then himself before drawing the other man into his arms. "I love you, Hawke. _Forever_."

"I love you, too, Fenris," Hawke replied softly, returning his embrace and eagerly snuggling close to him in their bed. "_Always_."

They lay together in warm, contented silence, eventually drifting off to peaceful sleep in each other's arms.


End file.
